Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Writer's Block

Psychoanalysis: you want to have a penis.  Everybody wants to have a penis.  If you had a penis, you would be able to produce copious amounts of highly dignified work.  Creativity is a phallocentric act.  Yay phallus!  Boo lady writers!

Phenomenology: The being of a writer in their writer-ness is a revelation of what is. The act of writing is an act of becoming.  If you can't write, it's because you're out of tune with the beingness of beings.  You are an invisible non-being thing lacking thingness.  You should either join a cult movement or stare at people's shoes until inspiration-ness comes to your typing-ness. Wooooooooooooo

Existentialism: You're not writing because you've created a reality where you don't write.  What that means is entirely up to you...don't be such a baby!  Suck it up and generate some meaning!

Nihilism: We don't give a fuck!

Eastern Philosophy:  Mu.

Western Philosophy: Me, me, me, me, la, la, la, la

Scientology:  Thetans are sapping you of your creativity.  *Alien slurping*

Christianity:  Jesus loves you but you're going to hell anyways cause you don't love him back.  Why worry about writing?  You should be worrying about your soul!!!!!!!!!

Agnosticism: We don't really know, and we're too smart to guess.

Marxism:  Your creativity is being oppressed by the state.  Kick the state's ass, become the new oppressor, and you'll write the great american novel.

Behavioralism: You're not writing because you're not writing.  Duh.....

Nursery Rhyme:  Hip-Hop,'re not writing because you've got writer's block!

Seriously...can I count this towards my page goal for the day? :D

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